Hard.
I’ve been so proud of myself. I’ve felt great, lost a little weight, and was feeling really supported. My vegan friends were giving me cookbooks and even buying me food!
(Those friends should probably stop reading now to save themselves some disappointment and shame.)
Going vegan wasn’t at all as hard as I thought it would be and I was starting to think I could really do this.
Until today.
All day at work I felt strange. I had a very specific and intense craving and I could not put my finger on what it was I wanted.
The vegan zucchini bread did not hit the spot. The soup and salad I had for lunch almost made the craving worse. I left work feeling light headed and annoyed.
As I drove home, I thought about what I had in my kitchen. Lentils. Parsnips. Soy Ice Cream. Everything I had sounded like a chore to eat.
And then I saw it. It’s golden hue calling to me from the street.
McDonalds.
Yes! That’s exactly what I wanted.
No!
I shook my head, clutched the steering wheel harder and drove on.
I felt good about my will power. Proud I had said no.
Until I saw another one.
The golden arches were mocking me.
It took all I had to not turn in. Think how processed and disgusting. It’s so bad for my body!!
I drove on, resolved.
But then, only one block from the entrance to the freedom of the 405, there was another McDonalds.
Seriously. I’m just not that strong.
I pulled, in berating myself the whole time.
Don’t do this. You are stronger than this. Pull away. There’s still time.
Until…
Welcome to McDonalds what can I get for you?
Ummm…hi. I’ll have the Chicken McNuggets and fries.
NOOOOOOOOO!
But it’s true.
And they were awesome.
My fall from grace was not even small.
I didn’t break my veganism for organic, farm-raised, loved and cherished chickens.
No. I went for the over-processed, hormone injected, politically incorrect nuggets.
I was like Eve. If Eve had cut down all the apples, made twenty apple pies, force-fed Adam apple cider, and invited her snake pal over to party.
It was shameful.
(So was how much I enjoyed it.)
But don’t worry. I’m back on the vegan wagon!
Until I pass an In and Out.
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