Gangbanger

-Quirky

-Cute

-Sweet

-Small Town Waitress

-Best Friend

-Girl Next Door

In an acting class I took last month I had to stand in front of a room of people as they shouted the first (nice) things they thought when they saw me. It was an exercise to help us understand what kind of type we immediately give off when we enter an audition.

I know what you’re thinking: where on that list is ‘super-sexy action hero’? I was surprised too! But as much as I’d like to walk into a room and have every man want me and every woman want to be me – that’s not my type. True, I could work at it. And given the chance, I would. I like to think I could rise to any acting challenge.

But there is one very specific thing I’ve never been able to play: GANGSTER.

Last year, I had an agent that didn’t know (or care) who the hell I was or what kind of type I played. And one day they called me for an audition.

Great! What’s the role?

You play a gangster in a music video.

(Slight pause.) What?

You have an audition for the role of a gangster.

Really? This is Jessica…. Runck. (CLICK) Okay…thanks.

For those of you who have not met me – telling me that I’m auditioning for a gangster is like telling Elmo he’s auditioning for the role of Hannibal Lector.

It just doesn’t make sense.

But like any eager, young actor I decided to go anyway.

I looked at the breakdown, noticed that it said “come dressed as a gang member from any era.” Since I lack a plethora of white tank tops, baggy jeans, and switchblades, I decided to go a different route.

I pulled out my white Hanes t-shirt, cuffed my jeans, put my hair in a bouncy ponytail, and transformed myself into a 1950’s, female, ‘gang’ member.

I would just like to say in retrospect: WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

On the day of the audition I skipped into the casting office and froze; every single girl was dressed like they had just come from robbing a liquor store. I sighed, pulled up my cuffed jeans, and walked in.

I plopped down beside a young woman who – I KID YOU NOT – had a teardrop tattoo underneath her eye. Now, I’m not up on my gang tattoos but I’m pretty sure that is a sign that you have killed someone. I smiled at her… surprise of all surprises the woman who looked like she just came from prison didn’t smile at the girl in the bobby socks.

I glanced around the room and noticed they were taking actors by twos into the room – one white girl and one black girl at a time. My name was finally called and as I walked in they introduced me to my scene partner. She had just graduated from Harvard and was dreading the audition almost as much as I was.

We walked into the room, introduced ourselves, and waited for instructions.

Finally, the casting director spoke up.

This scene is going to be improvised. You two are in a gang fight. When we start taping, Jessica, I want you to start screaming racial slurs at your scene partner.

I froze. WHAT?

I spoke up. I’m sorry. I think I misunderstood that last part. You want me to do what?

And without missing a beat the casting director replies: Scream racial slurs – just improvised. Don’t worry this is a safe room.

I panicked and glanced at my partner who smiled awkwardly.

So…I’m supposed to scream all the racists words I CAN THINK OF? ON CAMERA?

Suddenly the Casting Director shouted action.

I just stared at my partner.

My head was spinning.

What followed was the most difficult and humiliating audition of my life. I couldn’t bring myself to say any of the really ugly racist words so I just kind of, skirted around the issue… I was the most politically correct racist gangster you had ever seen.

I left feeling horrible; I should have been able to do that! I should be a good enough actor to play anything!

Maybe.

But I’ve decided not to beat myself up about this one. And maybe someday I will be able to add it to my type list:

-Innocent

-Chatty

-Bubbly

-Racist Gangster