Hurry Up And Wait

I spend most of my time in Los Angeles waiting. Waiting in traffic, waiting to audition, waiting to get that call from a director, or waiting to hear that my latte is ready (sensing a caffeine addiction??) It is one of the things I notice most about this city and it surprises me. LA always seems to be moving so fast but if you take a closer look, people are just hurrying up to wait.

I recently went to a meeting with an amazing agency (that will remain unnamed.) I had pumped myself up in the mirror before hand (“you deserve this, you are talented, you can’t see that huge piece of chocolate cake you had last night on your thighs…”) I put on my best dress and did my hair in that “I’m really sexy but also sweet” way.

When I arrived, I was asked to wait. When I finally got into the agent’s office I read the lines he gave me. After nailing the commercial dialogue - I really do love grilled turkey on flat bread - and calling up emotion for the dramatic scene, I waited for reactions. Happily, they told me how great I was, how much they loved my read, how I take direction very well, and how I’m so gorgeous that they want me to bear their children (ok…that may have been an exaggeration…) As I was standing there, basking in the glow of their compliments, I couldn’t help but hear the distinctive “but….” in their voices. What now?

Of course, they needed to wait. They were worried about me not having my SAG card, not having a guest-star role on a TV show, and not being a “proven” working actor. I went home glad they liked me but frustrated about their hesitation.

Now they are debating, and I, of course, am waiting. I hear from them on Monday and after checking my email for the twelfth time tonight (because who knows, a big Hollywood agent just might be up at 1:30 in the morning on a Sunday night needing to tell some new girl they really want to represent her) I began to realize that I AM NOT GOOD AT WAITING. For those of you who know me well, I am a woman of instant gratification. I need to have the perfect apartment NOW, the perfect career NOW and the perfect life NOW.

LA is not nice to a girl like me. And while sometimes I think I might go insane, I am also realizing that all this waiting just might be good for me. To be constantly waiting to hear if someone wants you is a vulnerable position and takes a considerable amount of patience. But maybe I could use that. I need to realize that it’s okay if I don’t yet have the perfect career or the perfect life. If I did, this blog would be much more dull and my life much less exciting. There is something wonderful about always standing on the precipice.

I wish I could end this entry letting you all know that the agency called and I have signed with them…but I can’t. I’m still waiting.


AN ADDENDUM: I heard from the big agency today. THEY SIGNED ME!! I will now be represented by Momentum Talent Agency for Print, Commercial, and Theatrical. Thanks Momentum!! And now the cheesy ending.....I guess waiting patiently really does pay off! Ahh shucks!