Is It Bright In Here?

I was at an audition on Saturday afternoon going over my lines and trying to look like the perfect combination of a dedicated actor and an actor who doesn’t care if she gets this job because she has soooo many other jobs. I was moments away from being called in when….in walks an actor sporting my biggest pet peeve of people in LA. SUNGLASSES INDOORS!

He saunters in with the biggest black sunglasses I have ever seen, grasping a Red Bull in one hand and a crumpled script in the other. Strutting down the hallway, he stops at my feet, looks down at me sitting on the floor, and in a voice that says “I am way too good for this audition and I was out partying last night at a place you can never even dream of getting into,” asks me “Where do I sign in?”

I debate saying something referring to his derrière but refrain and point to the sign-up sheet on the door.

This leads me to my big question: What is it with Los Angeles and sunglasses indoors? When I first moved to LA, I immediately noticed the people with their sunglasses on inside. In my naïveté, I had thought that perhaps they were famous actors who just didn’t want to be noticed picking out an avocado at the supermarket. But I soon realized that if that were the case, three-fourths of LA would be made up of famous actors. And that’s just not true. (Most actors in LA are the ones selling you the avocados.)

I have a theory: Wearing sunglasses ensures that no one will be able to see what’s really going on behind your eyes. With those glasses on, you are protected from the public learning you have a severe hangover or serious heartbreak. Because so much of this city is built on being the coolest kid in school, the sunglasses help protect those fragile egos. Honestly, part of me wishes that I could be that cool, that cut off from people seeing who I really am. But let’s face it, I’m from the Midwest and I don’t need sunglasses to cover my emotions…I’ve just learned to repress them.

In all fairness, California is very sunny and I do own a couple pairs (okay, 4 pairs) of sunglasses. But I always take them off inside ‘cause it’s just not that sunny in a bank, gas station, or department store. I think Los Angeles could learn a thing or two if people started realizing it’s really not that bright in Bloomingdales and it’s really okay if you’re feeling scared, self-conscious, and a little vulnerable. It’s LA after all; we’re all feeling that way.