Zero Degrees of Separation

Some people say I look like Kevin Bacon.

Let me back up. In Hollywood I have found that it is important to have your niche – the thing you do or the way you look on which you can capitalize. My agent is always asking me how he can “spin me.” As I sit in his office while he brainstorms on my finer qualities, I blissfully remember my college theater years. In the safe haven of a “learning environment” I was allowed to play child-killing psychos and manipulative bitches. Ahhhh the good ol’ days…. Now, in LA, my options seem limited to playing sweet friends and quirky funny ladies. Because that’s what people see when they look at me. Damn these blue eyes and my affinity for dresses.

When I first moved to Hollywood I was shocked at how much of my true self I was asked to bring to my performances. Coming from a theatre background I was not prepared. In theatre, it's about who you could be (i.e. child-killing psycho.) In film, it's about who you are. Apparently, to become a great film actor you have to let down those walls and be willing to expose those sensitive, embarrassing, emotions.

As I try to silence my soul, which screams incredulously – ‘But I don’t have serious emotions…I’m from the Midwest,’ I buckle down and start putting my true self out there. The quirky, dorky, dontcha-ya-know Midwestern girl I am.

But back to Kevin Bacon.

I have had four people – two of them strangers – on four different occasions tell me that I resemble Mr. Bacon. Why these strangers decided (one in a coffee shop, one in a restaurant) to ruin my day by sharing this little nugget of destruction is beyond me. Why my friends bought it to my attention is probably some reason like, “they wanted me to hear it from them first.”

Now, I am not above shameless self-promotion and self-exploitation – all in the name of my career of course. After doing an extensive online search for Footloose photos, comparing them with mine, and crying at the unfairness of it all, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I wrote a letter to Mr. Bacon’s agent letting him know that if his client had any movies coming up please give me a call as I could pass for his daughter.

I guess my point (and yes I do have one) is that I have to learn to embrace what makes me, me. I have to stop thinking if only I had curly hair, or short hair, or bigger eyes, or smaller thighs I would start getting cast. I have to remember that some directors are looking for a dorky, slightly awkward blue-eyed girl who maybe…in the right light…looks a little like that guy from Footloose.

So Kevin – if you’re reading this – give me a call. I think together we could be unstoppable.