Holiday Cheer...and A Cookie or Two

I've discovered Lactaid - a drug that allows people whose bodies hate lactose (that's me) to eat dairy. And now, since I'm home visitng, it's allowed me to have a truly authentic Midwest expierence.

Would you like cream in your coffee?
YES PLEASE!

How about some cheesey potatoes?
I'LL HAVE EXTRA!

More butter on that lefse?
YES! AND SPREAD IT ON THICK!

As you can imagine, the scale has not been kind. But as always, I will return to Los Angeles in a few days and begin taking yoga, eating salds, and stressing out so much the uclers in my stomach won't let me eat.

But for now, bring on the cheese! And the SNOW!

If there is one thing I miss about living in the Midwest, it is defintetly the snow (and the people, and the seasons, and the trees, and the food, and the...oh, sorry...)

I think if you have lived in California all your life you don't realize how beautiful it can be. All you can imagine is cold, and storms, and ice, and frost bite. But when it snows like it did yesterday (and the day before that, and the day before that...) it is worth all that other stuff.

So, enough from me. What follows are some photos of home and, of course, the snow.

This may be one of the only times I've ever seen my brother read a newspaper. And I've posted it on the internet for all to see!

An ornament I made when I was in First Grade out of a toilet paper ring. Can't you just see the artistic ability starting at such a young age? I mean look at those eyelashes!!

The coat is hiding the 17 cookies I had eaten before attempting to make this snowman.


Look at that form! If there was a comepetion for synchronized snow angel making, my mom and I would have clearly taken home the gold.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Will The Real Jolly Santa Please Stand Up

A few days ago I was in The Beverly Center - a mall close to my apartment. I was enjoying the window displays, the holiday music, and drinking a peppermint mocha.

This is just like Christmas at home!

I thought as I tried to turn a blind eye to the woman holding a traumatized Chihuahua in a pink snow suit.

Yep, just like it!

As I walked by "Santa's Workshop" I started to get excited. I have always loved seeing the kids sitting on Santa's lap, they are so cute and full of joy! I slowed down and looked over. This is what I saw.



So kids, if you are planning a trip to the Beverly Center, mommy might want to break out the make-up.

That's right. Hunky Santa (and his Candy Cane Girls.)

Uff-Da.

Los Angeles, I have to ask. Can't you please, just for one day, be okay with being fat and jolly?

Apparently not.

I guess there's always Easter...

Hearing Voices

Tonight I was cleaning my kitchen and all of a sudden I heard my father’s voice coming from somewhere in my apartment.

I thought that I had officially lost my mind and the final step was to hear a member of your family speaking to you through the walls. I stood in the middle of my living room completely still. Was it coming from the TV? My computer? My phone?

MY MIND?!!!!

He just kept saying….

Jessica, Jessica, look at me honey!

And I just kept screaming….

DAD?!?! Dadddy?? I don’t know where to look! Where are you??

Jessica, hi honey! Hi!

Okay, Dad…I know my apartment is REALLY messy and I know you raised me to disinfect my toys whenever a friend comes over but I just haven’t had time!!

And just before I sacrificed a lamb and joined the man outside my building talking to a tree about the pros and cons of side-walk chalk, I realized the remote control had gotten stuck between the cushions of the couch and had turned on the DVD speakers but not the TV (the logical, not-on-the-verge-of-a-mental-breakdown, answer.)

I turned on the TV and saw my brother and I (age one and five) standing in the living room. I sat down and watched (slightly disappointed that my dad wasn’t actually here.)

My brother wandered around in only a flannel shirt and cowboy boots while I stole camera time whenever I could, demanding that Dad record my dancing, eating, talking, and just standing, then insisting that we watch it RIGHT NOW.

Where did that girl go?

Not the demanding, attention-hungry one in the princess dress (because she is definitely still here) but the girl who had the time to dance around in her living room. The girl who put on performance after performance at the drop of a hat, even when you didn’t ask for one (or begged that she not give you one.)

This week, that girl was INCREDIBLY busy. More busy than she’s been in a long while. The kind of busy where taking a shower becomes only something you do “if you have time.”

For those of you wondering, I had time twice this week.

And I know that lately I’ve been writing A LOT about being “so stressed” or “so busy” or “so crabby.” And I’m sure the seven people who read this are getting really annoyed.

But soon I will be home, dancing in my old living room again and trying to steal all the attention from my brother (damn his huge green eyes!!)

T-minus 10 days.

I will come home to snow. To my mom’s homemade cookies and my dad’s home videos. To my brother (who now wears pants) and to my old friends.

And that is definitely something that makes me want to dance in my living room.