A Bobby-Pins In My Tights Kind of Day

This morning I realized my tights, after wearing them around for two hours, had two bobby-pins stuck inside them.

It’s been that kind of a morning…and weekend. I’ve been a little busy. The kind of busy that you don’t realize there are hair pins stuck in your leggings.

Why am I so busy… Well, I moved apartments (which was a nightmare and a blessing all wrapped into one.) But more on that later….

The main reason for all the craziness is this little play I’m in…perhaps you’ve heard me mention it a thousand times. It’s called In the Company of Jane Doe and if you don’t go see it I will have to end our relationship (Dad, you’re off the hook since you are thousands of miles away.)
So…check this out….


See?? "Jessica Runck Invites YOU to" how can you say no to a personal invitation.

And now comes the part where I use my blog for a shameless plug. (I know, you thought I had already done that.)

I’M LOOKING FOR A MANAGER.

So please, if you know one, invite them!!

And invite your friends…or your Casting Director friends…or your big time producer friends.

Or Sam Mendes.

You know…If he’s available.

Click here for tickets!

Holiday Cheer...and A Cookie or Two

I've discovered Lactaid - a drug that allows people whose bodies hate lactose (that's me) to eat dairy. And now, since I'm home visitng, it's allowed me to have a truly authentic Midwest expierence.

Would you like cream in your coffee?
YES PLEASE!

How about some cheesey potatoes?
I'LL HAVE EXTRA!

More butter on that lefse?
YES! AND SPREAD IT ON THICK!

As you can imagine, the scale has not been kind. But as always, I will return to Los Angeles in a few days and begin taking yoga, eating salds, and stressing out so much the uclers in my stomach won't let me eat.

But for now, bring on the cheese! And the SNOW!

If there is one thing I miss about living in the Midwest, it is defintetly the snow (and the people, and the seasons, and the trees, and the food, and the...oh, sorry...)

I think if you have lived in California all your life you don't realize how beautiful it can be. All you can imagine is cold, and storms, and ice, and frost bite. But when it snows like it did yesterday (and the day before that, and the day before that...) it is worth all that other stuff.

So, enough from me. What follows are some photos of home and, of course, the snow.

This may be one of the only times I've ever seen my brother read a newspaper. And I've posted it on the internet for all to see!

An ornament I made when I was in First Grade out of a toilet paper ring. Can't you just see the artistic ability starting at such a young age? I mean look at those eyelashes!!

The coat is hiding the 17 cookies I had eaten before attempting to make this snowman.


Look at that form! If there was a comepetion for synchronized snow angel making, my mom and I would have clearly taken home the gold.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Will The Real Jolly Santa Please Stand Up

A few days ago I was in The Beverly Center - a mall close to my apartment. I was enjoying the window displays, the holiday music, and drinking a peppermint mocha.

This is just like Christmas at home!

I thought as I tried to turn a blind eye to the woman holding a traumatized Chihuahua in a pink snow suit.

Yep, just like it!

As I walked by "Santa's Workshop" I started to get excited. I have always loved seeing the kids sitting on Santa's lap, they are so cute and full of joy! I slowed down and looked over. This is what I saw.



So kids, if you are planning a trip to the Beverly Center, mommy might want to break out the make-up.

That's right. Hunky Santa (and his Candy Cane Girls.)

Uff-Da.

Los Angeles, I have to ask. Can't you please, just for one day, be okay with being fat and jolly?

Apparently not.

I guess there's always Easter...

Hearing Voices

Tonight I was cleaning my kitchen and all of a sudden I heard my father’s voice coming from somewhere in my apartment.

I thought that I had officially lost my mind and the final step was to hear a member of your family speaking to you through the walls. I stood in the middle of my living room completely still. Was it coming from the TV? My computer? My phone?

MY MIND?!!!!

He just kept saying….

Jessica, Jessica, look at me honey!

And I just kept screaming….

DAD?!?! Dadddy?? I don’t know where to look! Where are you??

Jessica, hi honey! Hi!

Okay, Dad…I know my apartment is REALLY messy and I know you raised me to disinfect my toys whenever a friend comes over but I just haven’t had time!!

And just before I sacrificed a lamb and joined the man outside my building talking to a tree about the pros and cons of side-walk chalk, I realized the remote control had gotten stuck between the cushions of the couch and had turned on the DVD speakers but not the TV (the logical, not-on-the-verge-of-a-mental-breakdown, answer.)

I turned on the TV and saw my brother and I (age one and five) standing in the living room. I sat down and watched (slightly disappointed that my dad wasn’t actually here.)

My brother wandered around in only a flannel shirt and cowboy boots while I stole camera time whenever I could, demanding that Dad record my dancing, eating, talking, and just standing, then insisting that we watch it RIGHT NOW.

Where did that girl go?

Not the demanding, attention-hungry one in the princess dress (because she is definitely still here) but the girl who had the time to dance around in her living room. The girl who put on performance after performance at the drop of a hat, even when you didn’t ask for one (or begged that she not give you one.)

This week, that girl was INCREDIBLY busy. More busy than she’s been in a long while. The kind of busy where taking a shower becomes only something you do “if you have time.”

For those of you wondering, I had time twice this week.

And I know that lately I’ve been writing A LOT about being “so stressed” or “so busy” or “so crabby.” And I’m sure the seven people who read this are getting really annoyed.

But soon I will be home, dancing in my old living room again and trying to steal all the attention from my brother (damn his huge green eyes!!)

T-minus 10 days.

I will come home to snow. To my mom’s homemade cookies and my dad’s home videos. To my brother (who now wears pants) and to my old friends.

And that is definitely something that makes me want to dance in my living room.

Faking It

I finally got cast in something that I really love.

It’s a world premiere play. (And I get to play the lead.)

I don’t know how I can say that without sounding ridiculously pretentious. (Maybe it would help to know that every time I say it I am completely overcome by giggles because I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT and I feel like I pulled the wool over the eyes of everyone involved in casting!!)

The playwright’s name is Tiffany Antone and she is brilliant. The director’s name is Mary Jo DuPrey and she is brilliant.

The whole thing is brilliant.

The show is called "In the Company of Jane Doe" and it's a comedy about the life of an over-worked woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown who decides to take serious (and strange) measures.

And I am so thrilled! I had a great audition and an even better callback. I was pumped when the cast list came out and totally confident that I was going to have a great first read!

But as soon as I walked in to that theater and realized everyone knows everyone but me and that I have to read in front of all of these people, I didn’t feel quite so great.

I just stood alone in the rehearsal space as everyone around me hugged and smiled and reminisced about old shows. I stood and quietly tried not to smile too eagerly every time someone looked my way. Tried not to sweat pools on the outfit I had picked out that I hoped was “hip, but not like I’m trying too hard.”

I stood in the middle of that room, making an occasional joke to cover how uncomfortable I was (Thanks, Dad for passing on that trait.)

And as the read through began, I started to notice something that crippled me with even more anxiety.

Everyone was REALLY talented.

And that confident little actor inside me slowly started to die away as I said joke after joke with no laughter. And the harder I tried, the worse it became.

I glanced at the director and just KNEW that by her taking a sip of her coffee what she was really saying was “I HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE CASTING THIS RIDICULOUS EXCUSE FOR AN ACTOR!!!”

But then I remembered something someone very wise said to me this week –

We are all just little kids. Being an adult just means you are better at faking it.

And at that point the kid inside me wanted her blankie!! And her daddy! And the pink teddy bear that her mom threw away when she was three because it had “the bronchitis germs” all over it.

I took a deep breath and faked my ass off.

I faked the second rehearsal too.

Besides, what is acting if not faking something you’re not. I mean, I’m not really ”an over-worked woman on the edge of nervous break-down,” right? Right? RIGHT??

Ahem.

And I’m sure I will continue faking it. Continue acting like my being terrible and nervous is just “part of my process.” That I’m just, “discovering the character” and “letting her organically develop.” Actor speak for “I have no idea what I am doing and need more time!!”

Faking it till I make it has always worked for me.

It worked my freshman year of college when all I wanted were friends and someone to tell me that an “A minus” did not mean I was going to fail at life.

I faked it when I moved to Ireland and just wanted the rain to stop and for the Irish to stop pointing out that I knew NOTHING about the world.

I faked it when I moved to Los Angeles and just wanted the sun to stop beating and for people to stop pointing out that I knew NOTHING about the movie industry.

And I’ll fake it through rehearsals until (like all the other cases) I realize one day that I’m not faking it anymore. That I actually am comfortable and confident and – dare I say it – funny.

And when that day comes, you should all come see the show.



“In the Company of Jane Doe” opens at the Powerhouse Theatre in Santa Monica on January 14 and runs until February 6.
It runs every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 6:00 pm.

Older

Thanks to my father’s birthday gift of old home movies, I just spent the last hour reliving my birthdays from ages twelve to seventeen and I’ve come to one solid conclusion.

I’m older.

So. Much. Older.

The home movies took me back to a different time. A time of blunt-cut pageboy hair, jean hats, high wasted khaki pants, huge glasses (ohhhhhh the glasses) and high-pitched giggling about some secret crush.

In fairness, I still high pitch giggle about secret crushes.

I sat and watched myself get older and older. From the birthday that was for GIRLS ONLY to the birthday where I hosted a dance in my basement and we swayed to the tunes of Celine Dion and played Spin The Bottle with a Seltzer bottle.

As I watched myself wear too much blue glitter and make the classic white-girl hair mistake of cornrows, I thought about how far I’d come.

I’ve moved so many different places.

I’ve lived abroad.

I’ve climbed a mountain.

I’ve kissed a boy.

I don’t wear cornrows anymore.

And now glitter is just for special occasions.

But the younger version of me is still there…somewhere deep down. It’s present in my undying love for Spin The Bottle and it’s there in my pursuit of the dream that I promised myself I would chase when I turned 12.

That girl, that girl with the over-sized glasses and the farmer’s tan would be really proud of this girl. The one with the contact lenses and the pale skin (because she’s afraid of wrinkles and skin cancer.)

Because this girl is here, in Hollywood, pursuing what she promised she would. Despite setbacks and money issues, failed auditions and moment’s of complete self-doubt, I’m still here.

And so is the twelve-year-old who promised herself she would be.

That is the best birthday present ever.

Here’s to that girl…..

A Thank You Note To Halloween

Dear Halloween 2009,

It’s Monday and I’m still tired. I think this means I’m old. And that you, Halloween, deserve a ‘Thank You’ note! (My mom will be so proud that I’m using my manners.)

So here it goes….

Thank you Halloween, for closing Santa Monica Blvd for 10 blocks so that 400,000 people could show up in full costume to celebrate.

Thank you for considering a bright orange mesh thong and some face paint a costume (or rather, the guy next to me on the treadmill at the gym thanks you.)

Thank you for enabling my friend Katie to use (in total seriousness) the phrase,

And then Care Bear went home with a guy she met at the bar.
(In fairness Care Bear’s costume was pretty sexy…for a pink fuzzy bear.)

Thank you for making it the one night of the year where I can get away with white fish net stockings and fake eyelashes.

Thank you for also making it the one night of the year where it is okay to take unsolicited photos of random people you see on the street.

Thank you for this:


And this:



And this:



And mostly this:



Sincerely,

Jessica
(Roxie Hart)